I had my first panic attack on December 10th, 1996.
Since then I’ve had many panic attacks, some more severe than others, some that made me fear I wasn’t going to make it through the next five minutes, some that made me hate myself for not being stronger, some that made me jump in a cab and run home, some that have made me so dependent on this or that person. And I hated all of them.
I’ve read, I’ve studied, I’ve practiced, I’ve exercised, I’ve breathed, I’ve screamed, I’ve popped pills… but my panic is always one step ahead, and, so far, has always found a way to scare me yet one more time.
This blog is my journey in saying “enough is enough”, I want to stop panic from ever coming back again and ruining my days, and weeks and months.
I am not sure how to do it yet, but I feel the need to let it all out here, an “open letter to panic” if you wish, and maybe, somehow, I will find the answer.